The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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