so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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