You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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