Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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