I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
