You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
