on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
