Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize