living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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