I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
