And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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