nut hugger
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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