that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need moral support for this bender
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
