my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
