I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
