Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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