Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
