Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
