But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
