I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
