Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
