I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
where am i from again
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
