with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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