Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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