when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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