Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My feet surprised me
Randomize
