she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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