i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
