We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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