Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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