I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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