this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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