When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
