dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
