Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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