p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
