chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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