he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This house was built for laser tag.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
