...so i touched it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
