She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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