so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
