the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
