Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
