we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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