How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
