RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
