It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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