The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
