Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
