but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
