I'm going to jail i love you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
