found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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