he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize