why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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