Swine flu. Run for my life!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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