So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
