she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
