we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
