I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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