I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
