my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Congratulations! We have a period
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