Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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