so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize