508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
