need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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